Is Perfectionism Killing Your Success?
Ah, perfectionism. This is a feeling that I think most people can identify with at some point in their lives. That overwhelming need to have things turn out just so. That feeling that you have to focus on every tiny little detail to make sure it's just right before you move on.
That feeling that you might not measure up if you do anything less.
Oh yes, perfectionism truly is a toxic tendency.
I was slightly surprised when I realized this. Perfection is toxic. Perfectionism is insecurity. But how can that be when so often you hear people touting their own perfectionism a character perk.
Truth be told, perfectionism really isn't. And those that boast that they are perfectionist most likely mean that they're very detail oriented. Which is why there is such confusion about whether or not perfectionism is a good thing.
Let me clear the air for you.
Perfectionists are often anxious. They're often stressed. Depressed. Angry. Frustrated. Insecure. Because perfectionists are striving for something that is completely unattainable.
Yes. I'm saying it. Perfection is unattainable.
But here's the other thing about perfectionism... it can lead to serious procrastination. Because a perfectionist is going to shoot for this impossible standard, the idea of diving in is daunting. It can lead to self doubt. The perfectionist knows that perfection is impossible so if they can't hit that, then they just won't bother trying.
Hello all or nothing attitude.
Ah, yes. Perfectionism can manifest itself in some terribly ugly ways. Ways that will tear a person down and make life generally miserable.
So how do you beat it? You know perfectionism is bad for you... so how do you overcome it?
Know the difference between perfectionism and healthy efforts.
This is step one in beating perfectionism. Identifying it.
Healthy efforts make you feel excited, motivated even. They allow you to reward and celebrate the small victories. They energize you and make you feel satisfied. They allow you to maintain healthy relationships.
Perfectionism will weigh you down. No matter what you accomplish, you'll feel dissatisfied. Personal relationships are often neglected. Action is put off waiting for the "perfect" moment.
So are your efforts fueled in a healthy way? Or is perfectionism working it's terrible magic?
[bctt tweet="One of the best steps to beating perfection is to identify it. Are you falling prey to perfectionism?" username="erinshebish"]
Drop the all or nothing attitude.
This is a perfectionist mind trap. So many perfectionists feel like everything is black white when the truth is that the world is living in that grey area. Take a look in the mirror and remember that you are indeed human and the grey area is a lovely place to be.
If you're having a hard time jumping into your work or your life with enthusiasm because of perfection, there is nothing wrong with some positive self affirmation.
Repeat to yourself that you are enough. There is no black and white answer/process.
Practice Self Care.
One of the worst habits a perfectionist has is constant negativity with oneself. There;s a lot of self blame and negative talk.
When that voice pops up, tell it to buzz off! Remind yourself of the amazing things you do on a day to day basis. List some things you're doing right!
Make your health a priority too. Don't put off sleeping and eating; that only fuels the negativity.
Commit time to your relationships.
Socialize, my friend! Spending time with the people that you care about is one of the best ways to elevate a mood and to remind yourself of how special you truly are.
Drop the comparison.
Comparison is one of those things that will feed your need for perfection. If you find yourself playing the comparison game, remove yourself from the situation that brought the feeling on.
And remember that each persons path is unique. Therefore, it’s really not possible to accurately compare.
Break things down.
When you’re working on something and perfectionism kicks in, it’s easy to get hung up on little details. Instead, create a step by step plan for your project and work through each step on a timeline. Do what needs to be done and move on.
Learn the “Good Enough” rule.
People don’t want to see perfection! We see enough of that in media nowadays that people want to see human! They want to see people like them! So instead of making things perfect, learn to make them “good enough.”
Because truth be told… those flaws you think are there… they’re not.
Remember that goals are guidelines.
Goal setting is a great practice but only if you approach them in a healthy way! Remember that goals are something that you set; meaning they are a guideline. Not a set in stone deadline. Work towards goals slowly and steadily, reminding yourself every step of the way that all things will happen when the timing is right.
I know. All of this mindset stuff is crazy. But it's so crazy good for you! Adopting a healthy mindset can make a world of difference and perfectionism is definitely one of the things you need to drop when working towards a healthy mindset.
Do you struggle with perfectionism?
Until next time, have a beautiful day!